Wednesday, June 2, 2010
#14: The Dreaded Bridal Diet
I get it. We want to look perfect in our dress. Some of us are paying $100 (or more) per hour to wear it so we had better be a knockout, right? We don't want bulges in all the wrong places. We don't want dangling wings of skin and chub flapping in the air as we raise our arms during the YMCA. We want to look back on our wedding photos and totally have a crush on ourselves.
But here's where women get psycho. Case Study: Me.
Five years ago I was a size 13. Then someone dumped me, I got depressed, lost 25 lbs and became a size 8. Right now my bust and hips are a size 6, but my waist is still stubbornly an 8. So I'm hoping that my muffin top decides to jump on board the 6 train like the rest of my body already has, ya know? But more than that I just wish I were a size 4.
Like I said - psycho. And scared. And self-loathing. And none of that makes me a brave bride as defined here.
Seriously, I'm not looking forward to cutting rice out of my diet. (I'm Filipino and that would be like asking me not to breathe.) So screw the dreaded bridal diet. I'm on a liberating non-diet. I'm seeking healing and wellness on a deeper level. And my manual is a book called Women Food and God by Geneen Roth. (Check out more of my thoughts on this book at my other blog.)
I'm about to be someone's wife and maybe one day someone's mother. And (ironically), this means that I need to man up and grow a pair of balls. I can't continue with a yo-yo dieting lifestyle; that's like putting a bandage on a leaky pipe. It's avoidance. It's cowardly.
Somewhere deep inside all of my layers is a brave woman, and as you know from the title of this blog I'm trying to summon her during my wedding planning process. So I plan to document my journey with Women Food and God on this blog. I don't know what this book holds for me, but I do know that there will be no calorie counting, gym obsession, weekly weigh-ins, or guilt.
In short, there will be none of this (note ad on bottom):
...which would inevitably lead to too much of this:
On my wedding day I will most definitely still have some muffin top. But I will be a woman who is working toward physical and *emotional* health. And I think that's more beautiful than me as a size 4.
Who's with me??