Image: One Love Photo


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Tuesday, September 21, 2010

#90: You know you're a newlywed when...

You know you're a newlywed when:
  • Your post-wedding to-do list is almost as long as your pre-wedding to-do list.
  • You feel all giddy, grown-up, and trustworthy when you refer to your partner as "my husband/ wife". This is true whether you're making restaurant reservations, complaining to customer service, or asking someone to please let your wife use their private bathroom because she's got a sudden case of diarrhea.
  • You can't stop looking at your left hand. (Boy that ring looks good me. And thank God I haven't lost it yet.
  • Ladies: You've come up with your own witty and sassy way of responding to people who expect you to be pregnant already.
  • Gentlemen: Your male friends and relatives joke about losing your sanity, freedom, and hair now that you're married. And you have no idea what the eff they're talking about. 
  • You and your partner can't stop recapping the wedding.
  • You still watch [insert favorite wedding-related reality tv show here], and/or flip through [insert favorite bridal magazine here], and you believe that you will continue to be interested in doing so until the end of time. (Note: You will snap out of this. Eventually.) 
  • People will call you by your new last name and it will sound damn good. (I didn't change my last name but when I hear the Honda guy who fixes our car say "Mrs. [B's last name], your car is ready," I LOVE it.)
  • Sex feels a little different. Falling asleep holding hands feels a little different. Not having sex because you're feeling too (exhausted, stressed, annoyed, etc.) feels a little different.
  • You carefully soap and rinse around your wedding band knowing full well that gold/ platinum/ silver can hold up just fine against a hand wash.
  • You think about house hunting, what your kids might look like, your savings account, infidelity, dying, and having a wing in your fabulous fantasy waterfront home for your retired parents much more than you did just one year ago.
  • You're already daydreaming about how you'll celebrate your first anniversary.
  • HGTV is the only television network that's home to 3 or more shows that you and your partner love equally. You Tivo house hunting and interior design shows that prove you can blend your love of character and historic charm with his love of sleek modern design.
  • You feel like your family treats you and your partner more like grown-ups now that you're married.
  • You've got tons of nice, shiny, new kitchen appliances, dishes, and comforter sets. And they're all fancier, prettier and way out of your current home's league.
  • The wedding planning is finally over and it feels goooood.  
  • You feel even more motivated to begin (or be better at) at least one of the following: cooking, growing your own vegetables in the backyard, keeping your floors clean, eating healthily, being a wild thing in the bedroom, and being slower to anger. In short: Being married makes you want to be a better person. It makes you want to be more deserving of the love you wake up to each morning.

Or maybe that's just us.

photo credit


  1. I had the gold ring/handsoap issue last night and thought of your post. It cracked me up.

  2. Fangs, this morning I washed around my wedding band and thought of you thinking of this post. No joke!

  3. And I just called you "Fangs". Forgive me. ;)

  4. Ha! Fangs is fine. When you're a lowly copyeditor and a woman of unimpressive stature, you have to find your fierceness where you can.


Babbling about weddings is so much more fun when people babble back. :)

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