#54: Letting Go Is Not The Same As Giving Up

The title for today's post was stolen, ahem...borrowed from this article  by Courtney Carver over at a blog called Goodlife Zen. "Letting go is not the same as giving up" is a phrase that caught my eye because here, on the Monday before my wedding, I find that I am exhausted, stressed, coming down with a cold, and unlikely to complete the remaining 35 tasks on my wedding to-do list. (Oh yes, I said 35.)

Now is not the time to feel guilty about the reality of things. Instead, I want to feel comforted by a gentle voice that insists I am not a failure who is throwing a boring, ugly, selfish party simply due to the fact that the following projects will not be completed in time:

• burlap table runners (Seriously?! But they're part of my ghetto gorgeous tablescape plan!) 

• funny home video of me teaching my father and future father-in-law how to dance, which would be shown at the wedding reception just before the father-father dance off (Darn. This would have been hilarious.) 

• program fans to be handed out at the ceremony (No fans? But the historical Quaker meeting house doesn't have air conditioning!) 

• "Love You List" - a display board for the reception venue that lists all of our guests' names and a funny, heart-warming reason why we think each person is freaking awesome (But...but...this was my favorite and most important DIY project! Okay, MAYBE I'll stay up late for this one...) 

• fun photo booth  (Now what will I do with my fabulous collection of Halloween wigs?) 

• slideshow of our funny 1950's style "zombie boy falls in love with a normal girl" engagement photo shoot to be played as Brian and I do our first dance (You mean we're going to have to sway for 4 minutes without anything in the background to entertain our guests?? That's torture for ALL of us.)

One of the most difficult things to do is to let go of goals, relationships, and fantasies that you had lovingly held in your mind's imagination. And because there is so much thought and emotion attached to each creative project on a bride and groom's to-do list, wedding planning can sometimes feel like one long process of letting go.

But according to the aforementioned article's "top 10 things to let go of today" freeing yourself of certain toxic ideas and attitudes will help you let go of wedding DIY projects in a healthy way. Here is an excerpt from this non-wedding-related list that may nonetheless apply to all those currently planning their big day:

• Fear of not being good enough Feeling like you don’t measure up, may have come from your childhood, or a bad relationship, but now, that feeling is just a voice in your head. It’s your voice and your life. Recognize all that you have accomplished, and all you have to give and quiet that voice, for good.

• Doing it all – Instead of doing it all, do all you really care about. Do what you energizes you and speaks to your spirit. Don’t feel pressured because you think everyone you know is doing 100 different, amazing things at once. Do what is right for you. When you redirect your energy in this way, you immediately become more effective.

• Goals that don’t fit anymore Letting go of goals and dreams can be the most challenging of all. As our lives change, we change, and things that seemed so important years ago may slowly fade away. Instead of beating yourself up for not achieving your goal, focus on your new dreams and develop goals that reflect who you are right now.

Which of these is most helpful and inspiring to YOU at this point in your wedding planning?