Image: One Love Photo


I have expanded this blog into a website that deals with similar themes (Balance, Beauty, Balls!), but addresses life beyond wedding planning. Click HERE to check it out. See you soon!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

My Own Private Rebellion

I'm feeling rebellious. Toward everything- even my own blog.

What I'm specifically feeling rebellious about these days is what I call the graduate school approach to weddings and planning, which can sometimes create a cold and exhausting climate within many fellow progressive wedding blogs. I'm tired of all of the analysis. I have no energy to read other people's examination of weddings through a feminist lens. I have no desire to roll my eyes at those who want to feel like a pretty princess on their wedding day. I could care less if someone chose to spend $20k on her dream Vera gown.

I'll admit it: I want to fly away from the nest I've made here in the progressive wedding blog world. Because, you know, sometimes you're just tired of being home.

Also, I've found that it's quite tiring to have a thoughtful opinion about the wedding choices of anyone but myself.

(Is this crazy? Is there such a thing as feeling too tired to have a personal point of view? Does a renunciation of thoughtful opinions sound totally dumb?)

Okay, here's the thing: I want to experience people's weddings (whether in real life or when surfing the net) as they are intended to be experienced-- as a celebration, NOT as a subject of analysis for my grad school thesis. Not that American wedding culture isn't a fabulous topic for one's thesis. But as enlightening and liberating as this approach to weddings may be, it's burned me out.

What's happening inside of me is a marked shift-- the dissipation of my need to prove a point through the use of another person's wedding as “exhibit A” in my argument. I am in no mood to be smart. I'm in the mood to be joyful. And although these qualities are not necessarily mutually exclusive, sometimes they are - especially when I'm so busy being conscious and conscientious that I fail to be present.

For the next few weeks I plan to bask in the glow of other people's wedding bliss, but I'll do so because I know that what the couple is about to enter into is a big deal, NOT because the bride did her own hair and make-up, the groom is a feminist, or because there was a taco truck present. I mean, those are great and all, and obviously, I'm a fan. But those kinds of weddings are not anymore special than the fancy affairs that traditional couples host. (I guess you could say that I'm tired of all of the judgment that comes from both ends of the spectrum.)

So. For Thursday's post I'm going to be featuring a wedding that makes me happy simply because I happen to like the woman who got married. I like her blog. I'm happy for her. End of story.

One day soon I'll find myself getting tired of rebelling against the mission statement of my own blog, at which point I'll return to my original game plan of supporting independent-thinking brides. But for now, I need a break! So you'll find that the content of Brave Bride over the next few weeks will be rather light. Mmm, k?

(Note: If you are a smart wedding blogger who has written about your own planning experience, and/ or has spared a few moments to read about mine, trust me, this post was NOT directed toward you! You're still awesome in my book.)

photo credit 


  1. This. Absolutely this. I have not had the mental energy to come up with anything particularly thought-provoking about weddings, and I just generally want to holler, "It's a party, people, it's not your whole life!"

    So bring on the joy.

  2. It IS just a party! And the further away it gets from my wedding the more that begins to sink in. I mean, it's understandable if the wedding is the only thing on your mind while you're planning. But for your own sanity you've also got to experience the relief of remembering that it's not going to be the great achievement of your lifetime or anything. A memorable and special event? Yes. A turning point? Yup. Something worth writing about in your epitaph? No.

    So yeah. I vote for chilling out!

  3. i want to print this out and carry it with me this week. forrealz.

    i want to LOL and high-five all over this thing. now i totallly get the comments already married people left me saying "it will be ok." because, duh, it always is.

  4. I am so with you. Judging a wedding for not being progressive or being too traditional or expensive or not DIY enough gets us all absolutely nowhere, except possibly a reserved seat on the Judgment Wagon.

    One of my best friends (who was a bridesmaid) had a super-traditional, pastel-colored, white-dress, matchy bridesmaid, we-spent-$3000-on-flowers-alone, garter toss wedding. It was 100% not my style, but it is hers and I love her to pieces, and she should get what she wants too, no? I refuse to judge her or her wedding. I had a lot of fun attending it, in fact.


Babbling about weddings is so much more fun when people babble back. :)

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