Image: One Love Photo


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Monday, July 5, 2010

#37: Wedding reception dance tips for BAD DANCERS

The only thing I love more than good dancers is bad dancers. Why? Because bad dancers have balls. They don't have to look good to have a good time. They're not concerned with impressing anyone. They're free of the self-consciousness that keeps the shy ones by the punch bowl. They OWN their goofiness. And at the end of the wedding day they wear their exhausted smile and sweaty forehead like gold medals on an Olympic champion. And they should. Because being you and not caring what anyone else thinks is a pretty damn significant accomplishment in life.

One other thing that self-conscious dancers should note is that people are paying a lot less attention to you than you think. Ladies, unless your nipples are showing through your top, no one is looking at you. Trust me. (And men, unless you see the nipple lady above and are umm, physically responding to it, no one is looking at you either.) So no one cares if you are a little off tempo, a little stiff, or if your only move is something you call "putting a paper clip in an electric socket". Seriously. But if you do all of that with a smile on your face people will treat you like a rock star. Why? Because carefree confidence is irresistible.

But. If your booty needs more than just the pep talk above, here are a few specific tips for bad dancers. All you need to do to rule the dance floor is:

(1) pick a partner
(2) coordinate your outfits - but if you can't, simply coordinate your pelvic thrusts
(3) perfect your sassy dance face. (You can choose from: pissed off puckered lips OR angry cat "Roar!" face.)

(Note: Tip #3 is key.)

If you're more of a visual learner, here's the best video tutorial I could come up with:


  1. Yes! I love this--I am not a fabulous dancer but I love to get out and move it, and it disappoints me when people feel that their skills are inadequate and dancing becomes a fear/chore to them. Great post!

  2. ha ha!

    I know several dance moves, including "stir the pot", "The Middle School Shuffle" (aka the Stand and Way), the "Paperclip in an Electric Socket" and the "Get These Mosquitos Away from my Head!"

  3. @ Jolynn - Yes, girl! Mediocre dancers UNITE! Do you like line dancing by any chance? Even when I don't know the steps I love jumping in and trying to learn.

    @ Jenna - Ooh, I LOVE "Get These Mosquitoes Away from my Head!" Hehe. Do you know "Mow the lawn"? (The one where you pull the lever and push an invisible mower?) I learned that one from the MC at my sister's wedding. It's fabulous and I highly recommend it. ;)

  4. I know the sprinkler! That's my favorite. I am so going to wear that jean one piece with the fur trim one lady was wearing in the video to your wedding!

  5. Lol! I just want my dance partner to be the first guy in red. Or the second guy in red. Jumpy dudes.


Babbling about weddings is so much more fun when people babble back. :)

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